Immature Subway Signs Make me LOL

With metropolitan transit authorities of NYC and Boston telling us to keep our asses rough, avoid holding odors, and alerting riders to the availability of an emergency bra, I can finally rest easy while riding these underground rockets of depravity.

Explanations from Copyranter:

(top) Via Poster Boy NYC—having spent parts of about 20 summers on city trains, I can safely say that this command will be duly obeyed by many riders. (middle) Snapped on an A train by the archeress—with the MTA cutting essential services left and right these days, I for one would have to strongly protest the spending of my fare money and taxes on such a frivolous, female amenity.

And this one's from Flickr user Cognomen, taken in Boston. Keep your asses safe 'n easy.

via Copyranter

Leaked scene from HBO's new miniseries Generation Kill

From the uploader:

The first scenes I could find from HBO's upcoming miniseries "Generation Kill" from "The Wire creators David Simon and Ed Burns which begins airing July 13th 2008. This preview shows Bravo, the northernmost unit in Iraq, set up along the road, who can only wave when they are faced with armed Fedayeen.

Generation Kill is an all-new HBO miniseries about some of the first marines on the ground in the assault of Baghdad.

YOUTUBE; via DIGG

Free view of McCarren Park Pool Show

You get what you pay for :)

Devo @ McCarren Park Pool

This shot was taken over the playground fence, into the middle of the
$55 concert at McCarren Park Pool. Crowd's a bit sparse, but this is
just during the DJ's set. This is def the spot to save money and still
hear the music just fine. Dan Deacon Devo are about to take the stage...

Rumors of a Phish reunion lead Page to make a (very exciting) statement

Forget all this indie-music Brooklyn nonsense just for a second. I've always been a huge fan of phish (no i'm not calling it a phan, damnit) for quite some time in my young life. So, in crazy excitement, I bring you this news from Page himself, as announced at Phish.com.

Given the volume of speculation and rumors that have bubbled up recently, I have been asked to make a statement…Here goes.

For me, the last four years have been great. I’ve spent quality time with my family and have watched my daughter grow. I took great pleasure and pride in writing and recording an album. I’m living a healthy lifestyle. I travel as little as possible and I sleep in my own bed. It took a couple of years after the break up to begin talking to my old band mates, but once the conversations began to flow it wasn’t long before the friendships were rekindled. And I can honestly say that I’m closer with all of them now then I’ve ever been in our 20-year relationship.

Recently the conversations have turned toward the possibility of spending some time together. Currently many of us have plans and projects already in the works, most notably Mike, who made a great album and is about to hit the road in support of it. Given that I might not even see some of the guys for the next six months, I would say that the announcement of a reunion is premature. However, later this year we hope to spend some time together and take a look at what possible futures we might enjoy. In fact the only real decision that has been made is that when we do get together, it will only be the four of us, hopefully with no distractions. I am really looking forward to that.

I want to say just a few more things. The prospect of Phish reuniting is something I consider very seriously, and I think about it a lot. And lastly, as always, there is plenty of misinformation floating around. Try not to focus too much on secondhand sources and random gossip. If there is anything real to announce, it will come from the four of us as a group.

Until then,
Page

Now yes, this isn't an announcement saying Phish is back and on tour and get your tickets now, but the fact that they are actually excited to get back together and start playing again, even if its just the four of them, its freaking exciting news. So now with Trey sober, Mike releasing a great new album, Page sleeping in his own bed, and who knows what Fishman's doing, things are looking up for these four cats from Vermont.

PHISH

Cat With No Face, Dog With No Body

With one picture, the Telegraph has officially ruined Christmas for cat-loving children around the world. This here, is a picture of a cat with no face. When it was a kitten, it was hit by a car or something and lost its nose, eyelids, and skin on her cheeks after it was hit by a car. Some how it survived, faceless, and now totally grosses me out and looks like a furby and IT'S WEARING A SANTA CLAUS HAT OMG WTF.


In other f'd up animal news, video has surfaced allegedly from early 20th century Russia, of a living dog head reacting to various stimuli, kept alive by an "autoinjector", or a primative means of pumping blood and oxygen to the dog's head. The poor thing is licking its lips, and like, looking around.The video reminds me of that scene from Mars Attacks when Pierce Brosnan's decapitated head is kept alive in that robotic thing and Sarah Jessica Parker's head is sewed onto her dog's body.



Ten bucks says both of these are very poor viral marketing attempts by Meow Mix and/or Kibbles n Bits.

via BUZZFEED; and TELEGRAPH via BUZZFEED

UPDATE: Here's a very big, very awesome picture of Chase, via his blog. (Thanks, er, no thanks, Dan)NOFACECHASE

UPDATE2: OK, here's where I acknowledge its not viral marketing, but actually a very happy story of a cat with no face surviving after being hit by a car. After reading that blog a bit, I have some love for No Face Chase. The pictures, however, are still terrifying. Happy St. Patty's Day kids. Love, Chase.

Lazy Links

Hedwig and the Angry Itch is too 'racy' for New York [BROOKLYNPAPER]
Beastie Boy film takes on Nestle at Nestle sponsored film festival [RADAR]
Magazine Party at Bodega in Bushwick [BUSHWICKSOCIALCLUB]
NYC Health to do routine HIV testing in ER and clinics [NYTIMES]
Video of the world's first rotating skyscraper [VIRALVIDEOCHART]
Brooklyn Blog busts a crack house [NYTIMES]
The New York City waterfalls start running today [NYCWATERFALLS] and a [MAP]
A new Brooklyn Bridge park/pier opens [GOWANUSLOUNGE]
A chinese farmer made a homemade airplane and recorded the flight [KOTTKE]

Have a great day! <3 $.

Kentucky Fried Chicken Bone Map

KFC aficionados in Tokyo, Japan can now expect to get a road map to the bones of chicken thighs, just in case they're unfamiliar with the franchises dinner options.

GAIJINTONIC

Eddie Murphy's Giant Head Speeding Down an Alabama Highway

He's watching. Here's the back story. It's not that he's flying down a road in Alabama that's weird, its just so real! Like all seemingly un-viral, original, and unique bits of internet goodness, this one's actually been made for a movie, Meet Dave.

KOTTKE

The Magical Image Digesting Duck

"Hi there, and welcome to the Brooklyn Bridge. Take a look around and I'll be waiting over by the fence in about an hour.", is what I'm imagining here, but sadly, this ain't no tour-duck. No no, this little guy's a robot that's been programmed to detect the flashes of other nearby cameras, and then take one of his own. The photos can then be printed out on the spot, or uploaded via WiFI.

Artist Taeyoon Choi believes that the act of taking pictures has become a chore, a “tedious act from yesterday”. He questions why, in this age of labor reducing gadgets is there not an everyday camera that can take pictures by itself?

It's all a part of Eyebeam Studio's "Tourists and Travelers" exhibit, which is underwritten by Dewar's. Catch up with Choi this Saturday at 2:30 as he leads an exhibition from Eyebeam to Central Park, farting out pictures along the way.

PSFK

Mexico City Club Stampede, Police at Fault

So there is more police violence in the news, this time coming from Mexico City. Twelve people died in a human stampede this past weekend after police went to investigate accusations that kids were being sold drugs and booze. Upon arriving, police officers blocked the club's emergency exit, creating a human-frenzy of club-goers rushing out the front door.

Police involved in a raid that sparked a fatal stampede at a nightclub in northern Mexico City on Friday have been suspended, and an investigation into the incident is under way, officials said Saturday.Twelve people -- including three police officers -- were fatally trampled, and many others were injured Friday night, said Joel Ortega, secretary of public security.

Mexico City's mayor, however, said there "were serious errors" in police protocol, and that those responsible would be held accountable.

Here's the video of the stampede in action, complete with police beating kids left and right as they exit the club:



Be wary, NYC, this could happen to you!

ELUNIVERSAL; CNN

What do Girl Talk, This American Life, and Barack Obama Have in Common?

They just got five bucks!

See, I just donated $15 to three causes/artists/things I've been wanting to for a while, and it kinda feels like clearing out that freeloading feeling that you get after listening to Ira Glass ask for "just a few bucks" for weeks. So here you go everybody. Here's your five bucks so I can go back to the sidelines.

$5 to Girl Talk
$5 to This American Life
$5 to Barack Obama

If these three aren't your bag of tricks, send five bucks to someone/thing you feel deserves it. Chances are, they're depending on it to keep producing what you love.

Old News: Beached Whale at Fire Island

Back in 2002, someone snapped this picture of a Humpback Whale, beached at NYC's Fire Island. Thought it's a pretty crazy picture, so I'm sharing!

OCEANBEACH

Lady Spins on Escalator

KOTTKE

Moneyries on BushwickBK: Rowdy Bingo at the Wreck Room

Trash-talking, some lost balls, and a wrestling match - all in the hunt for an elusive B-I-N-G-O at the Wreck Room. Life Cafe, meet your competition.

For one night every week, bingo fans of Bushwick head to the Wreck Room, an auto-mechanic’s wet dream of a bar located at the corner of Flushing and Evergreen. With wall decorations made up of old car parts and seats from the back of reclaimed minivans, the Wreck Room’s vibe is unexpectedly welcoming...

Continue Reading: Rowdy Bingo at the Wreck Room [BushwickBK]

The Douchey Old Dame of New York

Meet Arlene Harrison: New York City's number one wealthy old hag gatekeeper. Also known as the "Mayor of Gramercy Park" (a titled bestowed upon herself, by herself), Ms. Harrison is the lost soul who patrols the park every day, making sure its empty grounds are free of fun.

Some of the joys of life which aren't allowed in Gramercy Park include dogs, music, alcoholic beverages, playground equipment, frisbees, soccer balls, groups larger than 6 people, bird feeding, bicycles, furniture, and anyone without "the key" to get you in, which also costs $350 a year but can't be reproduced (if lost it costs $1,000 to replace!).

It's a park that nobody uses:

“Because we work during the day, and we leave town on the weekends,” she explained of her own nonusage. “But it’s beautiful to look at.”

Dog's can't walk in:

Mr. Pike, who like Ms. Harrison is on the park’s five-member elected board of trustees, noted that his dogs were not allowed inside, “but they love to walk around it.”

and if you don't have a key, git out!

Just past noon on Saturday, a maintenance worker asked two young women enjoying a picnic lunch to produce their keys, and, when they could not, politely asked them to leave. They politely agreed and headed for the gate, but had to be let out by a stranger with a key.

“I didn’t know it was a private park — we just followed somebody in,” said Elizabeth Heyman. “I’ve heard of Gramercy Park. Which is the one with all those rent-stabilized apartments with the old people?”

And she's done all of this nonsense because her young son got beat up outside her Gramercy apartment in the 90s! It seems to me like we just need to start climbing that fence on weekends, cause, you know that nobody is there and all. Also, keep an eye on my comments, as I bet the queen bitch bee* will be googling herself an insane amount over the next few days and will want to drop by and say hi.

If she does, I hope she knows that if I ever get in those doors, I'm gonna coming in there with 7 people rocking out.

NYTIMES via KOTTKE (who called her a "grade A wanker"!)

*note-this post is heavily edited 'cause i felt bad for being mean. i'm sure somebody loves her.

Tumblr Notifications Humor

So Tumblr now has dashboard notifications, and TopherChris cleverly adapted his to reflect a blogger's mother's scorn, one that I know all too well.

blink?

Does this blink?

UPDATE: I think iiiit doesssssssssss!

RIP George Carlin

George Carlin, the acerbic, Grammy-winning comedian whose career spanned more than 50 years, died of heart failure Sunday after being admitted to the hospital complaining of chest pains, a hospital spokesman said. He was 71.

CHITRIB

SKATE takes over McCarren Pool

Etnies tours around the country hosting a competitive round of SKATE, a skateboarding game kinda like HORSE for basketball, where skaters have to match each other's tricks or risk gaining a letter. It's going on today and tomorrow in McCarren Park Pool, starting at 3pm each day.

Skaters have taken over McCarren Pool for the a few days (while it's still dry), for a game akin to basketball's HORSE. "Each skater must try to successfully complete a trick or gain a letter. SKATE was first played in the 1970's by vertical skateboarding legends Lance Mountain, Neil Blender and John Lucero, and was adopted by street skaters in the 1980's." Check out the action today, and the finals go down tomorrow.

1 to 7 p.m. // McCarren Pool, Brooklyn // Free

GOTHAMIST; SKATE

Obama Spotted at the White House

A reader at AnimalNY sent them a photo of a Shepard Fairey "Hope" sticker affixed to the cold iron bars of the White House lawn. I kinda want to see one of those McCain "nope" stickers there too. Can somebody make that happen? Plz?

The Rescue of Fry and Bender

This photo was taken in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, on June 12th after Mississippi River flooding took over the town. I imagine these two cats, Fry and Bender, have their claws dug so very deep into Brandon's chest, as their terrified and confused brains try to figure out why they are being led through the biggest bathtub they have ever seen.

"Brandon Smith carries his two cats, Fry and Bender, to dry land from their flooded and evacuated home on June 12, 2008 in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Much of the city has been evacuated as the Cedar River continues to rise to record levels. More rains are predicted over the next few days. (Photo by David Greedy/Getty Images)"

Image: David Greedy via BIGPICTURE

Thunderheist - Jerk It

In a world of chickens and sweaty club beats, slow-motion skin jiggling is king.


thunderheist - jerk it from thatgo on Vimeo.

BUZZFEED

Thumbs up from SoHo, Friday afternoon

Vice party was, of course, super shitty

I told you yesterday. I told you that Vice Magazine sucks. But you still went to the party. Apparently it sucked. People waited in line for hours, as expected, and hated every minute of it. Thankfully, Gawker found some choice-full words from Brooklyn Vegan commenters trashing the party, its security, and how stupid the Santos Party House is. I think the best thing we can do to screw over Vice at this point is pledge to boycott the following products for sponsoring such a shitty party.

Boycott: Nokia N Series (iPhones are better)
Boycott: Colt 45 (seriously, this won't be too hard. try Old English, it's much snappier)
Boycott: Vice Magazine (just read the internet)
Boycott: Santos Party House

Don't boycott: Moneyries

Mars Phoenix finds ice on Mars, tweets "w00t!" back to earth

In announcing that it did in fact find ice on Mars, the Mars Phoenix rover robot tweeted back to earth:

"Are you ready to celebrate? Well, get ready: We have ICE!!!!! Yes, ICE, *WATER ICE* on Mars! w00t!!! Best day ever!!"

So much cooler than a live TV broadcast from the moon. The 60's are so over and done with. But seriously, it is the best day ever for the Mars Phoenix team, as finding water-ice on Mars was their primary mission, which at the onset seemed quite lofty.

From WIRED:

The confirmation that water ice exists in the area directly surrounding the lander is big and good news for the Martian mission. NASA's stated goal for the Mars Phoenix was to find exactly this -- water ice -- and then analyze it. With the latest news, the first step is accomplished. All that's left now is to get the water into the Phoenix's instruments, a task which has occasionally proven more difficult than anticipated.

Warhol Art Maker Pops Tim Russert

The Warhol Art Maker helped AnimalNY create a whole slew of Tim Russert Pop Art images. This one's my fave, head over to Animal for the rest of the collection.

New Girl Talk Album Released Online, Name Your Price

After working for over two years on his new album Feed The Animals, Girl Talk (aka Gregg Gillis) has decided to make it available for fans to download months before its initial release, on a "pay what you want plan". Download it at Illegal Art. Any price gets you the tracks, over $5 gets you one continuous track, and $10 or more gets you the mp3's plus a hard copy of the album when it releases on September 23rd. Here's a bit more about the album's production, from JamBase:

The new album, which took two years to make, sees Gillis collecting material that was developed as part of his ever-changing live show. Using 300 samples in over 50 minutes, Gillis has created his most heavy-hitting, party-centric album yet. Throughout eight years of dedicating himself to creating sample-based music, Gillis has focused on the art of sampling and developing new tracks that have their own character, and surpass the original elements. He has refined his skill and technique and challenged himself with each new release, and in turn Gillis has solidified a specific musical identity and successfully created a particular style of music on record and in a live setting that excites listeners and makes them hungry for more.

'Feed The Animals' track listing:

1. Play Your Part (Pt. 1)
2. Shut The Club Down
3. Still Here
4. What It's All About
5. Set It Off
6. No Pause
7. Like This
8. Give Me A Beat
9. Hands In The Air
10. In Step
11. Let Me See You
12. Here's The Thing
13. Don't Stop
14. Play Your Part (Pt. 2)

Girl Talk's upcoming tour has him swinging across the Midwest, up through the North East - hitting British Columbia, Washington, and Illinois, then he works his way back east ending the tour at All Points West festival in Jersey City, NJ.

Here are Girl Talk's official summer tour dates:

06.26 Hattiesburg, MS @ Thirsty Hippo
06.27 Baton Rouge, LA @ Spanish Moon
06.28 Tulsa, OK @ Cains Ballroom
07.11 Boulder, CO @ Fox Theatre
07.12 Aspen, CO @ Belly Up
07.23 Victoria, BC @ Sugar
07.24 Vancouver, BC @ Commodore Ballroom
07.25 Seattle, WA @ Capitol Hill Block Party
07.26 Portland, OR @ Roseland Theater w/ Panther, Monkey Trick
08.03 Chicago, IL @ Lollapalooza - Citi Stage
08.08 Jersey City, NJ @ All Points West Festival - Liberty State Park

GIRLTALK, via JAMBASE

Another reason why Vice Magazine sucks balls

There's a party tonight for Vice Magazine's Mexican issue or something like that at the Santos Party House. For the fools who RSVP'd (like me, why else would I have gotten this email), the party planners kindly sent out this "heads up", warning of long lines, a crowded house, and the chance of not getting in at all. Just another piece in the pie of Vice sucking total balls.

Here's the friendly e-mail:

Hi there,

Thanks for RSVPing for tonight's VICE LIVE festivities at Santos Party House (and while we're doling out gratitude, thanks to our friends at Nokia NSeries for making it all possible).

This email is to confirm that we received your RSVP, and to give you a little rundown on how things will unfold tonight.

A LOT of people are planning on heading to Santos, which means the club will be packed to the gills, and many, many, many folks on the list will NOT be getting in. Including you, maybe.

Don't get us wrong, we want you there. But expect to wait in line, possibly for a long time, and there's a chance you might not get in at all. If you're one of those people who gets bummed out about such things, don't worry. There will be plenty of VICE parties this summer for you to attend.

Now you know the situation. Thanks for listening. See you tonight?

xoxo,
VICE

PS: Please do not reply to this email, no one will read it.

Source?: My mudda cranking Gmail.

Prospect Park Free Show Tonight: MMW!

MMW, the awesome jazz-funk-fusion band is playing a practically free (suggested donation - $3) show tonight in Prospect Park as part of the "Celebrate Brooklyn" concert series. They go on at 9 at the bandshell. More information.

Thursday, June 19, 7 p.m.
with Marc Robt's Ceramic Dog / Taylor McFerrin & The Cell Theory
With the free / punk / funk / experimental / psychedelic of “idiosyncratic and mesmerizing" (Village Voice) guitar titan Marc Ribot’s new three-piece Ceramic Dog, and the neo hip-hop of musician, producer, beatboxer and Brooklynite Taylor McFerrin and his band The Cell Theory.

Thanks Ford!

PROSPECT PARK

Santogold Video Shoot

With the opening of some random store that sells couches causing boatloads of media hype over in Brooklyn yesterday (whew, run-on much), Santogold was busy on the Van Brunt Street shooting her new video, featuring big boom box speaker bikes and cociane-laced wind storms. Gothamist has the photos/story, complete with photos. Here's a couple:

GOTHAMIST

Love In This Club

Usher's "Love In This Club" was reprogrammed to be performed by the Rock-A-Fire Explosion, that animatronic animal band straight from the stages of Chuck-E-Cheese's around the country, by a man/group named Chris Trash. They're coordinating bidding on eBay, where users can vote/bid for their favorite track, and once it hits $100 dollars Chris Trash goes ahead and programs the band to play that song.

Problem is, these guys hate fun, and have a problem with copyright issues surrounding the whole thing, so now the Rockafire's channel on Youtube is suspended. Suchmann went ahead and saved the video, and is now hosting it on Vimeo for the world to see. Enjoy:


LOVE IN THIS CLUB from Jesse Suchmann on Vimeo.

SUCHMANN

UPDATE: it's on Reddit, and Digg now too!

World's Strongest Men on 7th Avenue

In about 45 minutes, the "World's Strongest Men" are set to pull a double-decker bus down 7th Avenue as they prepare for their World's Strongest Men Super Series show this Saturday at the WaMu theater at MSG. They'll also be up to their standard hijinx of ripping apart phone books, bending frying pans, and "toying with 900-pound tires". Ticket information is available here.

To promote the World's Strongest Man Super Series, Mariusz Pudzianowski, Derek Poundstone and Phil Pfister will be among those on hand to prove how wimpy you and I really are.

And just for kicks, they'll also show some mojo by picking up Hawaiian Tropic Zone models, toying with 900-pound tires, ripping up telephone books and bending frying pans.

Here's the video trailer from MSG:



MSG BLOG

Raising the Flag at the Dept. of Vets

Snapped this pic this morning on the way to work outside the Department of Veteran Affairs. Also of note, this is the same building that I frequently see what I assume to be caught illegal immigrants being led out of white vans, handcuffed, into the building.

This was at the Corner of Varick and King St. I believe that's a POW flag they're raising alongside the American flag. So I ask you, how many NYC employees does it take to raise a flag?

A Knitting Factory Grows in Brooklyn?

The Luna Lounge, the recently shuttered music club that once occupied 361 Metropolitan, is not coming back, but music at its space may be. The Knitting Factory is rumored to be considering opening a venue at the location, which would be...

788888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 (my cat stepped on my keyboard, and i'm keeping it because he's smart. It probably means something in Cat.)

...great news for music lovers of Williamsburg. Gothamist reports:

With the Knitting Factory looking for a new home, and Luna Lounge being closed since April, all signs are pointing to the former moving into the latter. In fact, a sign on the front door of the now defunct Luna Lounge says as much.

Clever Gothamist, puns are fun, aren't they. So now, with the Music Hall of Williamsburg, the former Galapagos Art Space, and a potential Knitting Factory location, it seems that 11211 will soon be the central location for big time music in NYC. Of course, there are countless clubs not only scattered around Williamsburg, but Bushwick, Queens, Manhattan, and even little New Brunswick, NJ where you can still go see rad shows and only pay a few bucks to keep up the overhead.

Here's the evidence:

GOTHAMIST, via WILLIAMSBURG IS DEAD

NYC's Funny: New York Shitty

Give your Wednesday night GTA a break and get out and see some NYC comedy tomorrow night. Join up with Illana and Eliot Glazer's at their new comedy show, New York Shitty, debuting at Ochi's Lounge. It's a night of "tales of woe about the secret hellmouth that hides below the streets of a city arguably ruined by Uggs, trust funds, and Sarah Jessica Parker." Also on board are Sean Crespo, Margot Leitman, and Jake Goldman.

Here are the details:

Wednesday, June 18 @ 9:00pm
Ochi's Lounge at Comix
14th St. just east of 9th Avenue
1 drink minimum (cheap drinks and no cover)

And a write-up from Ochi's Lounge website:

The traditional "New York experience" is all but a mirage now, replaced by Chipotles, cosmotinis, and management companies starving for horizontal space. Although it's become a cliche to romanticize Ed Koch's New York - one rampant with drugs, crime, and bankruptcy - there does, nevertheless, exist a necessity to honor the city's two-faced ability to enthrall and excite you one day and wring you dry the next. Simply put, New York can suck - hard - and brother-sister duo Eliot and Ilana Glazer invite comedians, writers, bloggers, and performers to share their worst experiences in the new cathartic storytelling series New York Sh*tty at Ochi's Lounge.

Should be fun. Get out at 9 and hate your city.

Source?: My muddaf**n Gmail.

Burgarly Shuts Down New Jersey Apple Store

The above picture is of the Apple Store in Woodcliff Lake, NJ at Tice's Corner, which was broken into late last night.

Burglars from New York City apparently broke into a New Jersey Apple Store using a variety of "pry bars, sledgehammers, saws and crowbars", until they eventually broke through and emerged in a cabinet. They proceeded to fill their bags full of ipods, macbook's, and other goods (but no iPhones, not till July, silly robbers), until they set off the internal alarm at around 3am, which alerted the cops.

When the cops arrived, they found two men -- identified as Howard Santos, of Queens, 41, and 25-year-old Jonathan Mascussio of Brooklyn -- in a nearby vehicle. A third suspect, Raymond Ceballos, 25, was later found hiding in a storm drain by a police K-9 unit. A fourth subject remains at large.

AppleInsider

Jesus Probably Rode Dinosaurs

From the photo: "Even though we know dinosaurs survived the flood (on Noah's Ark) we don't know if Jesus ever rode them. But he probably did!". The coloring book also provides coloring hints, recommending such colors as "perfect white", "leviathan green", and of course the old favorite, "flesh of Christ". If I ever come across a copy of the book "Jesus and the Dinosaurs", I'll sell my blog to the devil (and as all bloggers know, the soul goes with it in a package deal).

LINK; via Digg

Sunset in New York

CITYRAG

Slow Motion Baby Laugh

There is nothing, nothing, more enjoyable that the internet has ever produced, than the slow motion baby laugh. Turn your speakers up, press play, and prepare thyselves for a full on giggling geek out.

Slow Motion Baby Laugh


MYSPACE via BOINGBOING

Firefox Download Day

Did you join in on the fun? Today is Firefox Download Day, as they've just released Firefox 3.0, and let me tell ya, I likey so far. I haven't been one of the fortunate souls involved in the Beta, so if anything comes down the line that starts pissing me off I'll be sure to share. So far, so good, no complaints. But anyways, if you download today, you'll be a part of history as Mozilla tries to go for a Guinness World Record to be the most downloaded software in 24 hours. Here's the official word from Mozilla, makers of Firefox, themselves:

Sounds like a good deal, right? All you have to do to help us set the record for the most software downloaded in 24 hours is get Firefox 3 now – it’s that easy. We're not asking you to swallow a sword or to balance 30 spoons on your face, although that would be kind of awesome.

Please download Firefox 3 by 17:00 UTC on June 18, 2008. That's 10:00 a.m. in Mountain View, 1:00 p.m. in Toronto, 2:00 p.m. in Rio de Janeiro, 7:00 p.m. in Paris, Madrid, Berlin, Rome and Warsaw, 9:00 p.m. in Moscow, and June 19, 2008 at 1:00 a.m. in Beijing and 2:00 a.m. in Tokyo.

FIREFOX; via Steve Isaacs

New Feature: Most Popular Posts!

After months of complicated hiring, back-end processing, coding, bug-fixing, and over-all moneyries development, your editors are proud to bring you the brand-new-feature "Most Popular Posts", debuting today right here at moneyries! You'll notice it over there on the right side of the site, tucked under the "Subscribe" list. These posts are judged via a very secret formula beaten out of old witches and childless mothers that generally consists of posts with the most comments. A surely controversial aspect of this formula is that I, $ries, can easily comment on my own posts, thereby driving up post popularity and changing the future of the entire internet.

See, i told it was complicated.

But what's great is that you, dear readers, can very much affect what goes in the most popular posts list by simply commenting on posts that strike near and dear to your heart! So far, only Hipster Anger and Howard Stern have stricken inspiration in you. I'm looking forward to more reader-editor interaction. 'Till then, ta ta, and remember: Save Yo' Moneyyyyy! (That's not the new slogan around here...yet)

Google Maps Car Gets Pulled Over

FLICKR,via BUZZFEED

On The Internet, It's ok For McCain To Call His Wife A Cunt

So, John McCain called his wife a cunt in 1992, after accusing her of plastering on the makeup. The internet comedy group john.he.is (parody of will.i.am) put together this lovely video exploring what it would be like, if only newscasters could explore the vernacular freedoms that exist on the web. While in a newsy meeting, they of course say the word over and over and over again, and thats the joke. NSFW, unless of course you have headphones.



GAWKER

The Dark Knight: New Alternative Trailer

Here's the new Comcast "On Demand" trailer for The Dark Knight, starring Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Gary Oldman, Michael Caine, and Aaron Eckhart. Welcome to summer fanboys, your marketing season has begun. The Dark Knight comes to theaters July 18th.

RIP Tim Russert

One of political journalism's best, Tim Russert, died about an hour ago of an apparent heart attack at NBC's Washington D.C. bureau. He was the first to call the democratic nomination going to Obama by saying, "We now know who the Democratic nominee's gonna be".

In honor of Mr. Russert, here's that now infamous video, called "Russert: The Nominee" :

Rooftop Films Tonight

Just a reminder: Rooftop Films at Automotive High School is yesterday tomorrow tonight!

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McCain and Obama's Birth Certificate Dance-Off

Here's a copy of Barack Obama's birth certificate, leaked by the campaign to DailyKos meant to dispell rumors that he was born with the middle name "Mohammad", like that would really matter...


And here's a copy of McCain's birth certificate. As DailyKos blogger OWCH explains, it's rather hard to read:

Unfortunately, the language on the document is in Essene, a language which has been dead for about 1,900 years. So, much like a lot of Senator McCain's modern-day speeches, press releases, and interviews, nobody can really comprehend what it says.

Ahhhhaha. It's funny cause it's true. He's just so. old.

DAILYKOS; OWCH

They're Warmer On The Inside

Following up with the Safeway Dozen post from Monday, a Boing Boing reader sent in an image of a tray full of $1 Prostrate Cancer Cookies found being sold at a Safeway. It's unclear whether these are preventative or full of prostrate cancer chips. Either way, you won't be getting a Baker's dozen, because "At Safeway, a dozen is 12", right?.

BOINGBOING; FLICKR

If Howard Stern has an open-casting call in the middle of New York, and nobody hears it...

Out on my lunch quest for pizza, I stumbled across a very pathetic "open-casting call" for Howard Stern's new On Demand channel. The particular show they were filming for was "Beat the Booey". Found this on the Howard.TV site:

Do you think you know everything there is to know about the Howard Stern Show? Think you know more than long-time show producer Gary Dell'Abate? If so, we want you to "Beat the Booey" in an all new game show coming soon to Howard TV On Demand. Test your knowledge against other Stern show super fans for a chance to face-off against Gary 'Baba Booey' Dell'Abate and a shot at $5,000! Anyone 18 years or older who is interested in being a contestant should come down and audition.

Aside from the oh-four-or-so bored looking reality wannabees, there was a very sun-burnt bald-in-charge screaming at pedestrians, "Do ya wanna be on teeeeee-veeeeeeeee?!", and the like. We all just ignored him, of course, and kept walking. It was rather frightening, pathetic, and i really felt kinda bad for everyone there. That's just no fun. Bald, sun-burnt, and employed by Ba-Ba-Booey?

Another photo:
HOWARD.TV

A very talented young dog

Good girl! Boss, take notes!


Talented Young Dog - Watch more free videos

Unicorn Deer Spotted in Italy

I saw a news item that a real-life unicorn (deer) has been spotted in a nature preserve somewhere in Italy, presumably where the rainbow hits earth and everybody has money. How awesome is that!? It's cleverly named "Unicorn", and was born in captivity. This leads me to question the language of the press release, stating that the deer was "found". Of course, like all modern medical marvels, its a deer with a weird birth defect where a horn is missing, and the one that is there has migrated to the center of its head.

I went looking for more pictures of unicorns on the internet, and found the above, and when I went to the site, found this beautiful poem accompanying it:

Unicorns have horns.

Unicorns are usually white.

I've never seen a unicorn that wasn't white.

Unicorns are racist.

It's a fact.

Beautifully stated. So not only today did I learn that there's a fucked up deer with one horn somewhere, but that unicorns are racist because they're white. And that's a fact. Here she is:

AP

The Story of Chrissy and Janet

One my friends, whose name is not Janet, had her picture snapped by a random photographer on the street who, it later turned out, worked for Vice Magazine. He included the picture in Vice's "Dos and Don'ts" section, with the unclever caption: "Oh, look, Chrissy and Janet bought a whole case of bottled water for the apartment and now they’re wheeling it home on your skateboard that they borrowed. All is right with the world."

The true story is they stole the water from an unmanned construction site, but Vice turned it into "bought", to make it all the easier for their ignorant commentators to healthfully lash into "Chrissy and Janet" for their clothes, consumerism, and just for being them. The comments are purely idiotic, and should give a clear window into the dumb ass readership that Vice has.

Some samples:

yeah.thanks for the water.all is right in the world.
apart from one little thing.
-where's the beer you dumb bitches?

the clothes are the biggest NO i've seen... this is pathethic, vice's hipsters are lamer than ever

Seriously, the clothes are a do (i guess) but what's with the case of bottled water?

Yup, they just paid money for something that's basically free. That makes sense.

this looks like an advertisement for gentrification.

FUCK BEDFORD STOP ENTITLED BITCHES.

It's every girl in the bay area. Now go to your loft and drink bottled water until you're old enough to become yuppies

User Allie. sums it up best: "angry internet comment".

It's just so easy these days for internet lame-asses to rip into the idea of "hipsters", that even Vice Magazine's readership, the epitomy of hipsters themselves, provides a solid self-lashing over two normal girls walking with a case of bottled water. Lame lame lame lame lame.

VICE

Rooftop Films - Tonight's Program

*UPDATE - Let me start this off by saying, "Snap". This is tomorrow. Not tonight. Now, carry on.

Rooftop Films is back in Williamsburg tonight tomorrow night, with a program showing short films of adventure! Afterwards always rocks, with the free open bar at Bar Matchless by McCarren Park. Below is a picture of the lawn at Automotive High School, where the show is tonight tomorrow. That guy in the yellow shirt, that could be you! Photo by Found Footage Festival.

Here's a synopsis of one of tonight's tomorrow's films:

“Glory at Sea!” (co-funded by the Rooftop Filmmakers' Fund) is a film about a group of people in post-Katrina New Orleans who build an elaborate make-shift raft that will sink at sea so they can join their lost loved ones.

Venue: On the lawn of Automotive High School
Address: 50 Bedford Ave, between N. 12th and Lorimer (Williamsburg Brooklyn)
Directions: L to Bedford Avenue OR G to Nassau Avenue
Rain: In the event of rain the show will be held indoors at the same location
8:00PM: Doors open
8:30PM: Sound Fix presents live music by O'Death
9:00PM: Films
11:30PM - 1:00AM: Open Bar After Party at Matchless (557 Manhattan Avenue @ Driggs ) Courtesy of Radeberger beer
Tickets: $9 at going.com

Click here for more info: Making the Mission

Mr. Quick - help!

Mr. Quick is missing, please help find! He's a cat of a worker at
Fette Sau, and is super cute but tragically way too fast.