New York City smells like Maple Syrup

Don't know why, don't know how, but for some reason New York City definitely smells like maple syrup at the moment. We first kind've smelled it last night, when a co-worker of mine noticed an odd vanilla smell drifting in the air. Yea, there was a Vanilla candle burning, but no friggin way was that the reason. Oh no, this has just got to be aliens or some terrorist shit.

To confirm our fears/dreams, Gawker and NY1 are running stories on this Aunt Jemima invasion.

If it is aliens, we have to get ready to appease their appetites. If everyone in the city with a kitchen starts baking pancakes, waffles, and those who can, roll up some maple blunts, we might just be capable of withstanding the invasion!

"Calls have been pouring in to the city's 311 hotline and to 911 from Manhattan residents wondering just what the smell is. Many describe it as smelling like maple syrup. Other say it smells like flavored coffee or roasted nuts. NY1 has been receiving calls from as far south as Lower Manhattan and as far north as Harlem. 'It started at work about 8:30 Thursday night,' said one aroma-witness. 'I was at the computer and I felt like, I don't even know, maybe someone had some maple syrup and they were typing away and I was typing and it got on me somehow. I was laying in bed last night and I felt like I had maple syrup in my nostrils.' "

Note: 311 is the maple syrup hotline. Write that down in case you ever smell blueberries, apple strudel, or BBQ in lower Manhattan.

As for the source of this maple lovin', they have no idea, and probably never will.

Hillary is the Devil?

So says Reuters:

Newest Iron Man Trailer with soundtrack by AC/DC, Audioslave, Black Sabbath's "Iron Man"

Here's the newest and latest Iron Man trailer, added to MyspaceTV today. I'm adding it to moneyries for some moddacrunkin' traffic! So bring it on internets, welcome to MONEYRIES! check back often. And yes, here is your little Iron Man trailer. From IWATCHSTUFF:

"As much I find Iron Man and his glib alter ego Tony Stark to be intolerable characters, I have to admit that Jon Favreau looks to have made a decent adaptation of the source material. And with a non-stop barrage of hard rock (AC/DC, Audioslave, Black Sabbath's "Iron Man", of course), constant alcohol imbibing, and the flagrant use of sports cars as backdrops, Iron Man looks to be the first superhero movie to fully capture the sensibilities of Maxim Magazine. The biggest surprise isn't that this looks like a surefire hit but that they didn't put Gwyneth Paltrow in a bikini. Make sure to watch this if you're a male 13 to 35. Otherwise, you're totally going to look like a gay."

It's the newest, latest, and greatest trailer (aka the second trailer) for Iron Man, coming to theaters May 2nd, 2008:

Iron Man Exclusive Trailer

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Wham City presents: Jurassic Park, the play at Market Hotel

On Monday March 3rd, at The Market Hotel, Baltimore's very own Wham City is bringing the fun bus to Bushwick:

:: WHAM CITY PRESENTS:
::
:: JURASSIC PARK, the play

[ MARKET HOTEL ]
957 Broadway @ Myrtle | enter on Myrtle | Bushwick, Brooklyn
JMZ - Myrtle, L - Jefferson, G - Myrtle-Willoughby | 9:30pm | $7 | all ages
-- MYSPACE --> http://myspace.com/markethotelnyc

PLS - DON'T HANG OUT / DRINK ON THE SIDEWALK OUT FRONT!

TODDP
WHAMCITY

and here is a flyer for their performance in Philly:

Be Neat, Delete

What happens when all of the videos on the internet are deleted, and Jack Black is too busy making real-world videos in Be Kind, Rewind? Super Deluxe happens, with Be Neat, Delete!

Garfield minus Garfield - An Existential Lesson in Modern Existence

It turns out that without the cat, Jon Arbuckle's world gets a little bit crazier. Crop out our TV's and computers and we just might become all a part of the same crazy house. Going through these strips really is a journey into what becomes of a man when stripped of his main compadre. Without Garfield, Jon really is just a bumbling buffoon stumbling through life with crazy hats, bags, and mysteriously eaten dishes of Lasagna.

From Garfield Minus Garfield:

"Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolor disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against lonliness and methamphetamine addiction in a quiet American suburb."

More images:



Credit is due to: Garfield Minus Garfield
and of course: Garfield

Song Chart Meme - One

A new Flickr meme is growing, called Song Chart Meme, in which people are graphically representing lyrics from popular songs. Among them, this gem, the first of the batch and personally my favorite!

NEATORAMA

Barack Obollywood

If you're into Barack, like taking acid, and have a love for indian food, then you'll find this new Barack Obama + Indian music video remix right up your alley.

Of course, the ever-intelligent YouTube community has made it a race issue, calling the Indians "Arab-fucks" and such. I don't think this is meant to make Obama look "foreign". I think it's just in good fun. Whatever. It was on BoingBoing, which clearly means its awesomeness.

From youtube: "This entire fucking video is subtle propaganda designed to associate the image of Obama with "foreign" or "arabesque" with less educated Americans (read : most Americans). Obscene"

The video:


BOINGBOING

Jimmy Kimmel responds: I'm Fucking Ben Affleck (Video)

Immediately after the Oscars last night, Jimmy Kimmel unleashed his response to Sarah Silverman's "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" video. Enjoy it, here:



And goddamn, did he bring out the stars! Here's the list of celebrities who stuck it out for Jimmy:

Brad Pitt, Rebecca Romjin, Harrison Ford, Christina Applegate, Cameron Diaz, Macy Gray, Joan Jett, Don Cheadle, Pete Wentz, Josh Groban, Perry Farrell, The Maddens, Dominic Monaghan, Robin Williams, and Huey Lewis.

DLISTED

Birthday by Amanda

UPDATE: Ahem. Post title changed to "Birthday by Amanda"!!! ....not jesse. i suspected he didn't create work that cool. The editorial staff at moneyries apologizes.

Notorious Hipster Loft Wakes Up To Cocaine Covering Streets

In what is thought to be their first encounter with God, hipsters at 248 McKibbin woke up this morning to all coke they've ever blown, covering their parents cars and sidewalk, making their morning commute to not-work even more difficult.

Here's what the street looks like without all that God-blow:

Hillary Clinton Gets Booed at Texas Debate

Just moments ago, Hillary Clinton demonstrated that it is indeed "silly season", by accusing Barack of plagiarism again. This time, she said, "lifting whole passages from someone else's speeches is not change you can believe in, it's change you can Xerox". And she got BOOED! HA! On national TV, in what is said to be the most important debate this election season between Democrats, Hillary took a low blow with a super-cheesy comment, and rightfully, she got booed. Barack Obama clearly simply said, "that's not what happened", and moved on. Anybody know if she gets campaign contributions from Xerox? Is this some corny product placement?! It wouldn't be the first shameful product placement, remember Miller & Roger Clemens? Go Go Barack, nicely handled. Here's the video: "Barack responds to attacks and Hillary gets booed"....



Note: Cut to 2:50 to get to her comment and the corresponding boo's!

My name is MONEYRIES, check back often!

YOUTUBE

Interview with the Untergunther

The Architechts' Journal has sat down for an exclusive interview with what is arguably the coolest guerrilla organization in our modern age. We last heard of the Untergunther (or visit their blog) when they secretly, unofficially, and successfully restored Paris' Pantheon clock.

"[they] inhabited the Panthéon for a year in an improvised clubhouse-atelier that included built-on-site chairs, a library, heating, an internet connection and a hotplate. Under the direction of professional clockmaker Jean-Baptiste Viot, they painstakingly restored the rusted monumental clock, cleaning the components and making new parts. On 24 December 2006, to the shock and awe of the administration, the clock began to chime. "

In the real world, Lazar Kunstmann and Lanso (both pseudonyms), are a video editor and photographer. But in the Untergunther, they are spokesperson and founder of an approximately 120 strong guerrilla organization that keeps watch over "ignored, invisible or abandoned cultural heritage sites, the nonsensically named Untergunther comprises just a fraction – the restoration wing – of an expansive umbrella group known as the UX, who've been acting as the de facto guardians of subterranean Paris for over 25 years."

Read the rest of the article at the Architechts' Journal.

This all really makes me want to dig deep into New York City's basements, sewers, and abandoned factories to see what kind of beauty we can restore in our backyards. While it's doubtful that Bushwick, Brooklyn's hidden treasures even begin to compare to the dark and mysterious underground of Paris, something tells me with enough eyes scouring our neighborhoods something awesome may lie just under out streets.

If you know of anything going down that I don't, shoot me a clue at bkries (at) gmail (dot) com!

Lawrence Lessig launches Change Congress movement

Today, Stanford Law Professor Lawrence Lessig announced that he is forming an exploratory committee to decide whether to run for Congress in California's 12th District. Prof. Lessig is the creator of the Creative Commons movement, and a leader in defending Net Neutrality. Show your support by contributing, volunteering, or emailing him.Visit his website: Lessig08 to join the movement!

read more | digg story

I ordered Chipotle's Online!

I love Chipotle's, and today marks my first attempt at their online ordering system, which is super flashy! I named my order "Tacobomb" - Hard shell tacos, Carnitas (pork), mild salsa, medium (corn) salsa, cheese, sour cream, and lettuce. I'm gonna eat it with my face!!!


UPDATE: Don't know how I feel about the whole call-to-confirm thing. I got this in my email:

"It can take 10-15 minutes for us to receive your order once it's been sent. So, please call your selected Chipotle in about 10 minutes to confirm that we received it. Otherwise, your order will not be made."

Man I hope this works, or surely Domino's will take the trump card in the online ordering game.

CHIPOTLES

Harold and Kumar Activity Fun Book

Harold and Kumar activity fun book! - Download the awesome PDF activity fun book for the return of Harold and Kumar here!

Craigslist community debate Hipsters being pathetic

In a post titled, "Hipsters = really pathetic, =/= 'counter-culture", a Craiglist user finally explains why it is that hipsters have no balls. Naturally, he gets all Freudian on our asses, blaming feminism for unbalanced relationships in our society, and the hatred of man / empowerment of women stemming from it's "Ground Zero" location - Whole Foods.

"Boys who had poor or no positive male role model (because feminism attempted to destroy masculinity in men and transfer it to women), therefore identify with women's movements, feminism, androgny and being 'femme.' They eat too much soy (synthetic plant estrogrens), don't work out (anorexic) and as a result have 'no balls,' literally and figuratively.

Women who had an overbearing mother figure, likely instances of childhood abuse (again, all too common since the fragmenting of the home and extended family where protections tended to exist), believed they were being oppressed by males (for the love of Buddha listen to or read 'The Myth of Male Power' by Warren Farrell. He was a champion feminist and wised up to the inequities in neglecting men's rights). They treat any man who is not described above with distain. I see this at Whole Foods especially."

The discussion continues with another user countering the original's with the claim that "hipsterism" is the wave of the future.

"...this is another perfect example of why hipsterism is gaining such strength in light of people with old-fashioned, rigid, and culturally backwards attitudes towards gender roles. Because of the rise of various online photo-blog and social networking sites, insights into urban hipster culture are reaching sheltered suburban audiences at an exponential rate. Cultural "norms" have been deconstructed by hipster culture as a whole. Hipsterism is often dismissed as just an image thing by some, but the culture as a whole is effecting changes in society, leading to feelings of insecurity and resentment in people who are no longer a part of the cultural ruling class. For example, a lot of anti-hipster sentiment evidently comes from culturally-clueless suburban frat boy types who feel that the more sensitive, intelligent, and culturally aware hipster ideal threatens their insecure sense of masculinity. Anti-hipster sentiment often comes from people who simply can't keep up with social change and are envious of those who can. Hipsterism is the way of the future."

A third user offers a NYTimes article to explain that hipsters are beating out buff sweaty dudes in the modeling industry. Here's that link: Hipsters vs. Sweatballs

Someone in Greenpoint then spells out the Hipster doom day - once they all hit thirty, we'll have produced the largest batch of 30-something midlife crisis sufferers...

Poor, poor Kellogg's Diner

Click for a bigger, much less pixelated pic:


Kellogg's Diner is getting Condo bombed. See if you can find our lovable poor little excuse for a Diner here being suffocated by a high-rise condo and flanked by what will probably end up being a Whole Foods.

CURBED

Baltimore Cop vs Skateboarder - New video against D.C. Artist

Last week a video surfaced on Youtube showing a Baltimore cop throwing a 14-year old kid in a headlock, wrestling him to the ground, and taking his skateboard. Watch it here:

Talk about it at Videocracy


Now, a Washington D.C. artist has come forward with more video of this cop being a dick to him. He was in the inner harbor videotaping people's reactions to a moving box, when the officer pulled up and starting kicking the box, then the remote-control car underneath. While I would've gladly stomped that box and ruined his video project in the name of Art, the cop shouldn't have done this with his badge on, and I doubt he was protecting "Art" anyways.

"ABC2 has obtained new video of Baltimore police officer Salvatore Rivieri in action at the Inner Harbor. This time he confronts Billy Friebele, an artist from Washington D.C., who was videotaping at the Harbor last summer.

Friebele told ABC2 he was taping the reactions of passersby to a box he was moving with a remote controlled car. Officer Rivieri is seen on tape kicking the box off of the car and then kicking the car. The officer then orders Friebele to leave the area.

Rivieri is the same officer caught on a youtube video wrestling a 14 year old skate boarder to the ground. A spokesperson for the Baltimore Police Department declined to comment on this latest videotape. Officer Rivieri is suspended without pay pending the outcome of an internal investigation of the incident with the skate boarder."

Watch the NEW video.

You'll be happy to know that this police officer, Salvatore Rivieri, has been suspended without pay pending an internal investigation. Both the Baltimore mayor and the chief of police have seen the video, and both agree that what they saw was wrong.

The power of Youtube and it's growing sense of citizen journalism is just amazing in breaking down acts of corruption, big or small.

Jimmy Kimmel: I'm F'King Ben Affleck

From PAGESIX:

"Sure, Sarah Silverman bragged about sleeping with Matt Damon, but where's the love for Ben Affleck? Last week, Silverman surprised her boyfriend, Jimmy Kimmel, on his show with a music video called "I'm fucking Matt Damon," featuring Silverman and the "Bourne Identity" star singing together about their faux affair. Now Kimmel is striking back with a song called "I'm fucking Ben Affleck." Our source told us the video for this song, set to the theme of "We Are the World," will star Affleck, Robin Williams, Don Cheadle, Harrison Ford, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz."

This could potentially be awesome. I wonder if Jimmy will get Snapple to pony up for this one, after they hopped on board with an apology letter after Silverman's video two weeks ago.

UPDATE: Here's the video! It was released last night after the Oscar's.



Or on Youtube, with the prelude from Sarah's "I'm F*cking Matt Damon":



here are all of the people in the video
BRAD PITT - HARRISON FORD - JOAN JETT
ROBIN WILLIAMS - DON CHEADLE - MEAT LOAF - PETE WENTZ - DOMINIC MONAGHAN
MACY GRAY - PERRY FARRELL - LANCE BASS
HUEY LEWIS - JOSH GROBAN - CHRISTOPHER MINTZ-PLASSE - JOEL MADDEN
BENJI MADDEN - DICKY BARRETT - REBECCA ROMIJN - CHRISTINA APPLEGATE
CAMERON DIAZ

Dildos in Texas

Just in time for Valentine's Day, a Texas court released the ban on sex toys (yes, there was one). Since the 70's, probably when sex toys went mainstream, Texans have been forced to stick to household items like vacuums, bananas, and half empty Budweiser bottles to get their kicks.

Now that Texan politicians have opened the flood gates, expect to see a parade of cowboy/cowgirl themed items taking up the shelves of your local Southern sex shops. I'm looking forward to a pop-culture invasion along the lines of Colt shaped vibrators, Lasso butt plugs, and horse-shoe dildos. America waits no more.

"Under Texas law it is illegal to sell, advertise, give or lend obscene devices, defined as a device used primarily for sexual stimulation. Anyone in possession of six or more sexual devices is considered to be promoting them.

The Texas law dates back to the 1970s and is seldom enforced. Travis County prosecutors say that they haven't charged anyone with a sexual device-related crime in at least the past seven years, and probably much longer.

In 2003, a woman in the Fort Worth suburb of Burleson drew nationwide attention when she was arrested for selling erotic toys at a Tupperware-type party. The charges against Joanne Webb were later dropped.

In addition to Texas, whose law has survived previous state court challenges, three other states have a similar sex toys statute: Mississippi, Alabama and Virginia. Laws in Louisiana, Kansas, Colorado and Georgia have been thrown out by courts in recent years.

The 2-1 opinion by a panel of the 5th Circuit was based heavily on the U.S. Supreme Court's 2003 decision in Lawrence and Garner v. Texas, which struck down a Texas law prohibiting private consensual sex among people of the same sex.

That case established a broad constitutional right to sexual privacy."

Thank gawd, howdy doody, Amen!

In honor of these, let's learn to talk like a Texas, shall we? About.com (an authority in Texan-speak) offers a list of ways to get on yer way. Number two:

Use Texas contractions and phrases.
There are certain word combinations that Texans like to turn into a single word and some common words we use in uncommon ways. Use these if you wanna talk like a Texan:

• gotta (got to, must)
• gonna (got to, going to)
• over yonder (over there)
• nu-uh (no)
• fixin ta (getting ready to do something)
• y'all (you all)
• wanna (want to)

I think "over yonder" and "fixin ta" definately have a future in pillow talk involving Texan's dildos.

ABOUT, STATESMEN, BUZZFEED

New Indiana Jones Trailer

Trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (aka the fourth Indiana Jones)!
For anyone born post '75 this will bring back some serious, exciting, and nostalgic feelings. Steven Spielberg has finally resurrected the Indiana Jones franchise from the dead, and from what I can tell in this trailer, the film stays true to the original feel of the old Indiana Jones. Christ, they even kept Harrison Ford in shape all these years. I hope this will be the kind of movie that you leave feeling like you witnessed something cheesily awesome.



The theme music is the coolest part, naturally. I'm sure it'll play multiple times throughout the film, in many different resurrections.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, in theatres May 22nd, 2008.
Directed By Steven Spielberg, Staring Harrison Ford, Ray Winestone, Cate Blanchett and Shia Labeouf.

For more info, head over to IMDB.

Basquiat Painting Found in Upper-East Side Warehouse worth $8 Million!

A long-lost Jean-Michel Basquiat was found today in an Upper-East side warehouse. The painting has been missing ever since it's owner was hauled off to jail for corruption in running a Brazilian bank. Famous to the 1980's NYC grafitti scene, and having once dated a then-unknown singer named Madonna, Basquiat eventually died in 1986 from speedballing (mixture of heroin and cocaine).

Here's some really random quotes from his Wikipedia page:

• "I don't listen to what art critics say. I don't know anybody who needs a critic to find out what art is."
• "Since I was seventeen I thought I might be a star. I'd think about all my heroes, Charlie Parker, Jimi Hendrix… I had a romantic feeling about how these people became famous."
• "I don't think about art when I'm working. I try to think about life."
• "Believe it or not, I can actually draw."
• "I wanted to be a star, not a gallery mascot."

GAWKER, WIKIPEDIA

U've Been Assed

FOUND by Lisa C. in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

DIRTYFOUND

Howard Dean: Do NOT fuck this up!

A letter from the Rev. Al Sharpton to Gov. Howard Dean, chairman of the Democratic Party:

From Drudge: "SHARPTON CALLS ON THE DNC TO NOT SEAT MICHIGAN AND FLORIDA DELEGATES"

"Dear Governor Dean:

I write this letter as a former Democratic candidate for President of the United States and a civil rights leader who has fought his entire life for fairness and justice for all people regardless of the color of their skin. I firmly believe that changing the rules now, and seating delegates from Florida and Michigan at this point would not only violate the Democratic party's rules of fairness, but also would be a grave injustice.

As former Presidential candidates we both know that, whether we liked them or not, we adhered to the rules set forth by the Democratic party to select its nominee for president. For example, I would have much preferred starting the nominating process with caucuses and primaries in South Carolina and Washington D.C. than Iowa and New Hampshire. Nonetheless, I knew the rules, abided by them, and ultimately accepted the consequences. Changing the rules in the middle of a presidential contest is patently unfair both to the candidates (including Senator Edwards) and to Democratic voters everywhere.

Some have said that not seating delegations from Florida and Michigan disenfranchises Democratic voters -- especially African American voters -- from those two states. That claim, if true, should have been made many months ago before the decision was made to strip these states of their delegates, and, once the decision was made, it should have been vigorously objected to and contested by those who felt it disenfranchised voters. To raise that claim now smacks of politics in its form most raw and undercuts the moral authority behind such an argument.

As a civil rights leader who is neutral in this presidential primary season and who highly respects both remaining Democratic candidates, I think we have a responsibility to protect both candidates from charges that the process was tainted so that our eventual nominee does not start the general election campaign under a cloud. Clearly, the justifiably proud and intense passions of each candidate's supporters will be on full display in the months leading up to the convention. However, the Democratic Party and independent voices within must temper over enthusiasm by either side and the party must be resolute in ensuring that there is one set of rules by which we select our nominee.

In Progress,

Reverend Al Sharpton, President of National Action Network"

This is a ridiculous and sneaky attempt from Dean to give some an injection of delegate points to Hillary's failing campaign. These two states elbowed their way up the calendar in the primary election, against the rules of the democratic party, so they lost their delegates and had their primary elections voided, months ago. Barack Obama pledged not to campaign there on a moral basis, while Hillary snuck around diners and packed gyms delivering her message of boring politics as usual - so she obviously won the states primaries. However, those delegates weren't awarded.

Now, with Dean bringing up the possibility of letting these two states count, he directly undermines election law and punishes Barack for morality within his camp. If you read this, please, do NOT let this happen! Email HOWARD DEAN now and tell him not to allow Michigan and Florida's delegate votes to count.

Snowy Union Square

It's snowing in NYC!

...and sticking

Live in Maryland, Virginia? Vote!

Where do I vote in Maryland?: here!

Where do I vote in Virginia?: here!

Like Obama and looking for more inspiration? Everyone's predicting a beltway sweep. Read the Huffington Post's compilation, here.

Frog turns blue at sex club in Manhattan

A 63-year-old retired schoolteacher from Quebec took a trip down to NYC this past weekend to visit the mistresses of the Nutcracker Suite, an upscale Manhattan S&M club with clients neighbors describe as "bankers, lawyers, and doctors".

"The 64-year-old thrill-seeker had been found turning blue, hanging in a dungeon room at the Nutcracker Suite on E. 33rd St. Friday morning. Dressed in a dog collar and a pair of women's high heel shoes, the victim had paid staff at the upscale S&M club $100 an hour to check on him every hour."

As if that isn't embarrassing enough, his unsuspecting wife has no idea that her husband is up to no good, freaking around with mistresses like Mistress Sakari, Misstress Lexia, Mistress Naomi, Mistress Zita, and Misstress Charlotte.

"She said she had been told her husband had been found "unconscious on one of the streets."
She described her husband as a retired math teacher who didn't drink or go to nightclubs.
"I thought New York was safe," she said."

New York is safe, it's our mistresses that'll get 'cha.

The S&M club's website is down, but a Google cached version revealed these names. The site asks "If this is something that you do wish to view, click enter button and "'Step into my parlor,' said the spider to the fly....", however, the Enter button is down, and it leads to 404 Not Found.

However, a listing at Eros-ny.com lists the Nutcracker Suite as "one of the top dungeons in the world"...probably coming shortly after Guantanamo and 25% of the medieval lairs, however, I'd think the plague took them off the list yeeeeeears ago. Oh, and it lists the prices at $50 for men and $5 for women. Totally not fair.

"The Nutcracker Suite is considered to be one of the top dungeons in the world and has an excellent reputation. The new location is now situated in the heart of midtown Manhattan. All of the dungeons have been carefully redesigned with function and elegance as a key factor. There is full suspension in every room and an assortment of all kinds of tables, bondage chairs and racks. All fantasies and fetishes are bound to be fulfilled at the Nutcracker Suite. With some of the most beautiful and skilled Mistresses in the city, you're certain to have a good time. Novices as well as the connoisseur are encouraged to explore their fantasies."

Lol, get it? "Bound to be fulfilled...". Clever mistresses.

NUTSUITE (cache)
EROS-NY (cache)
NYDAILYNEWS

Dolly Parton Postpones Tour, Blames Breasts

...so read the headline from the wires a few hours ago, as Dolly Parton herself explained, "Hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don't have back problems".

This sounds like a headline from The Onion, but it's not. Besides, they already wrote about her waaay back in 2001 with Gay Man Really Respects Dolly Parton For All She's Been Through.

Nope, this is from Reuters. Dolly was set to perform at Radio City Music hall on Friday, March 7th, but now all 8 of New York City's country fans will have to stay home and watch the boob tube that Friday night.

"The tour was due to begin on February 28 in Minneapolis, two days after the release of "Backwoods Barbie," her first album of mainstream country music in 17 years. She hopes to hit the road in late April.

Parton, also famous for her big voice, big wigs and big smile, has long joked about her famous bust. When she received a songwriters award in New York last year, she noted that she's been known for two things throughout her career.

"I'm talking about my music and my lyrics," she said."

If you still want to buy tickets, here's the dumb link.

REUTERS

Ronald McDonald Insanity

Oddly, it does manage to make me crave Japanese McDonald's...

PostSecret - A Valentine Video

Go Frank, Go!



Happy Valentine's week, everybody!

18,000 People Make Up Human Statue Of Liberty

Over 18,000 officers at Camp Dodge, Des Moines, Iowa gathered in 1918 to make up a human Statue of Liberty. When you zoom in, look how they actually made her holding the stone tablet by using some kind of string or fabric. I wonder if this is what Spencer Tunick would be doing 90 years ago, before people took off their clothes to save glaciers.

HAMMERGALLERY

Digg's RSS Feed Censors Hitchcock?

Euros accepted in NYC = Old News

"Most neighborhood liquor stores merely need to deal with shaky alcoholics when they open in the morning. East Village Wines is coping with a far more frightening plague today: reporters.

This morning [yesterday], Drudge picked up on a Reuters story from Wednesday on the First Avenue liquor store—just for kicks, the store accepts Euros as well as dollars. For journalists, this is a possibly telling anecdote about the state of the American economy!"

This is old news by now, but still, interesting how crazy-fast the international media picked up on this story, especially given the fact that the owner of the store has been doing it for years. It shouldn't be that big of a shocker.

If we go anywhere in Canada, Mexico, and most places in Europe we can easily pay people in American dollars, no questions asked. For many, it's easier than converting the cash at a bank, and some restaurants make a few extra bucks on the side by charing a higher exchange rate.

Everybody wins.

Of course, Drudge picked it up as a sign that the American economy is tanking, with the goal of striking fear in our hearts and our wallets. In reality, this isn't a big news story. It's one dude, a liquor store owner, advertising the fact that he'll accept the Euro in hope of making a few extra bucks. Stop freaking out, world.

Photo by Choire Sicha (pronounced corey), via RADAR

Shameful Product Placement, Miller Lite

Brian McNamee, the baseball trainer accusing Roger Clemens of steroid use met with Congressional investigators last night and showed off a photograph supporting his theory that he helped Roger Clemens inject steroids. In the picture, bloody gauzes and a crunched up needle box are scattered on a floor, and there is a syringe sticking out of one of the torn and bloodied paper towels.

Coroporate America doesn't sleep. Miller saw a great opportunity to get their product in front of the eyes of baseball, and managed to get a crushed Miller Lite can full of used needles in the picture; and I couldn't be more impressed.

"One photo shows a beer can that Emery said was taken out of a trash can in Clemens' New York apartment in 2001. Emery said the beer can contained needles used to inject Clemens." - ESPN

Product placement is no longer limited to movies and television. Miller has managed to find a ways to access consumers in an unimaginable medium - Roger Clemens' dirty syringe-filled trashcan. Hats off to you, Tom Long. I'm heading straight to my bodega after work to purchase a beer with great taste...less filling.

ESPN, GOTHAMIST via THESMOKINGGUN

Sushi Snuff Film

From Spike: "This highly skilled and trained sushi chef slices and dices the deadly Japanese blowfish, also known as fugu. If the still squirming fish is not properly prepared it can actually kill the diner, avenging its own death."

So gnarly. My personal fave moment is when the chef cuts off the fishes head. You see the fish collapse for a moment, then resume pulsing... kind of like the Chef's heart in Dumb & Dumber, when Jim Carrey's rips it out in his day dream.

I Like Turtles - Yes We Can Obama Video Spoof

3 words: I Like Turtles! BarelyPolitical got themselves a spoof youtube video of Barack Obama's "Yes We Can" music video, produced by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas that I posted a few days ago.

Now watch this one and join in on the chant. Scream it at the top of your lungs! I Like Turtles!

Horsin Around With Shaq - Urinal Outtake From Super Bowl Ad

Here's a funny outtake from the filming of vitaminwater's Super Bowl ad with Shaq. It seems the big man's gotten himself "out-shaq'd".

Sarah Silverman F**king Matt Damon is sponsored by Snapple!?

Turns out, Snapple just pulled off an awesome viral video with this awesome music video - [Sarah Silverman "I'm F*cking Matt Damon" on Jimmy Kimmel]




And people thought they hated her. Ha.

GAWKER

Barack could upset - new CNN poll!!!

News from a new CNN poll, released last night on the eve of Super Tuesday, shows Clinton has lost her comfortable lead!

• CNN/Research Corp. national poll: Obama, 49 percent, Clinton, 46 percent
• Clinton has lost lead in national polls she has held for months
  
• Sen. John McCain is clear GOP national front-runner, poll says
  
• Poll released on eve of Super Tuesday contests in 24 states, American Samoa

Here's hoping for an upset!

MICROSCOPIQ; Image credit: Shepard Fairey

Vote

If you live in one of the following states, today is your day to vote! Please do so! It is not only your responsibility as an American, but our responsibility as a generation to start making decisions for ourselves. Click here to find your voting location! The following is a list of states participating in today's Super Tuesday primary.

Alabama
Alaska
Arizona
Arkansas
California
Colorado
Connecticut
Delaware
Georgia
Idaho (Democratic Party Only)
Illinois
Kansas (Democratic Party Only)
Massachusetts
Minnesota
Missouri
New Jersey
New Mexico (Democratic Party Only)
New York
North Dakota
Oklahoma
Tennessee
Utah

Image credit: Shepard Fairey

Barack Obama - Yes We Can music video

John Legend and a bunch of other celebrities are featured in this music video by will.i.am, in a reworked Barack Obama speech. Check it out, show your friends, but don't you dare let Hillary see it or she might tear up. And we can't have any of that in a presidential candidate...no cry babies.

Recycle your beer cans!

The AZ Super Bowl website's greening advice for viewers focuses mainly on recycling. Perhaps that's a good place to start. The top factoid: "Throwing away a single aluminum can instead of recycling it is like pouring out 6 oz. of gasoline on the ground."

EMERALD CITY

Abercrombie and Fitch Manager cited for "obscenity charges"

Virginia Beach police confiscated two large advertisements from an Abercrombie and Fitch store over the weekend, and citied the manager with displaying "obscene materials in a business that is open to juveniles". The pictures were of three guys walking through a field with their shirts off, and one of them is having a minor wardrobe malfunction.... as he's pulling up his pants, you can see some dudebutt. Abercrombie's always been obnoxious. As we all know, their music is waaaay too loud, their clothes are super expensive yet crappily made, and all their employees are douches. This leaves us, the public, to resort to acts like the Abercrombie Dance Party. The Consumerist reminds us that this is the same city which tried to ban public cursing.

"The store had been asked to take the photographs down several times before but didn't comply. Is showing a kid's butt crack in a larger-than-life-sized picture a bit strange? Yes. Obscene? We're not sure, but Virginia Beach, the city that tried to ban public cursing, is."

There are way more obscene ads out there than this one. Take every single American Apparel ad for instance. Those are practically porno. These Abercrombie Ads are just lame.

Old showtunes kicked to the curb

sale-559627457@craigslist.org is offering a dandy collection of old showtune records for free! Included in the collection are: Showboat, The king and I, Can Can, Carousel, south pacific, a chorus line, annie get your gun, Destry, and a few more.

"Please take all. They all have their covers and appear to be in EC. This is about 1/2 milk crate's worth, heavy and all. Maybe a canvas bag or cart or crate would help for transport.

Please email with specific time you want to pick up. All day Friday, Saturday and Sunday before 1, Monday before 1.

Bedford-Stuyvesant. One block from Bedford Nostrand G, B38, B44."

This was posted at 2:13pm so hurry up and go get you some South Pacific!

CRAIGSLIST

Improv Everywhere freezes Grand Central

Ah, Improv Everywhere, you've done something cool again. This time, 207 participants met in Bryant Park and then strolled over to Grand Central where, as commuters, they proceeded to freeze in place at exactly 2:30pm. The video's pretty cool. Understandably, people are shocked.



GAWKER

Sex in a cab on 6th Avenue

A dude/paparazzi here in NYC caught a couple doing the nasty last night in a cab on 6th ave. He did what all noble pap's would do, and snapped a few shots to share with the world. The look on this girl's face is the kicker here. It's not one of passion, ecstasy, or even love. This is pure concentration. I'm downright impressed, however. They totally just don't give a damn about being front and center in all of this. As the guy who took this picture explains, this deed is going down right on 6th Ave. near Central Park. Good for them.



Pictures by Hughe Dillon.

UPDATE: Someone asks Yahoo! Answers if getting oral sex in a cab is illegal. View the results!
They include:

"If it's done in view of the driver without his consent, then it's gross public indecency, and is illegal. If the driver's is a willing audience, then it depends where the cab is. If people outside can see in, it's public, and illegal. If it's somewhere private, it's legal.

The question of what constitutes "public" was raised two years ago in CA. A couple parked their car in an alley behind a closed warehouse at 3am and got it on. A police officer who saw them drive in parked his car on the street (no headlights to give warning) and, after waiting a few minutes, snuck up on the car and caught them. He ticketed them, but they fought the ticket.

The court found that, where they were parked, they had a "reasonable expectation of privacy", and dismissed the ticket."