Meet Arlene Harrison: New York City's number one
wealthy old hag gatekeeper. Also known as the "Mayor of Gramercy Park" (a titled bestowed upon herself, by herself), Ms. Harrison is the lost soul who patrols the park every day, making sure its empty grounds are free of fun.
Some of the joys of life which aren't allowed in Gramercy Park include dogs, music, alcoholic beverages, playground equipment, frisbees, soccer balls, groups larger than 6 people, bird feeding, bicycles, furniture, and anyone without "the key" to get you in, which also costs $350 a year but can't be reproduced (if lost it costs $1,000 to replace!).
It's a park that nobody uses:
“Because we work during the day, and we leave town on the weekends,” she explained of her own nonusage. “But it’s beautiful to look at.”Dog's can't walk in:
Mr. Pike, who like Ms. Harrison is on the park’s five-member elected board of trustees, noted that his dogs were not allowed inside, “but they love to walk around it.”and if you don't have a key, git out!
Just past noon on Saturday, a maintenance worker asked two young women enjoying a picnic lunch to produce their keys, and, when they could not, politely asked them to leave. They politely agreed and headed for the gate, but had to be let out by a stranger with a key.
“I didn’t know it was a private park — we just followed somebody in,” said Elizabeth Heyman. “I’ve heard of Gramercy Park. Which is the one with all those rent-stabilized apartments with the old people?”
And she's done all of this nonsense because her young son got beat up outside her Gramercy apartment in the 90s! It seems to me like we just need to start climbing that fence on weekends, cause, you know that nobody is there and all. Also, keep an eye on my comments, as I bet the queen
bitch bee* will be googling herself an insane amount over the next few days and will want to drop by and say hi.
If she does, I hope she knows that if I ever get in those doors, I'm gonna coming in there with 7 people rocking out.
*note-this post is heavily edited 'cause i felt bad for being mean. i'm sure somebody loves her.