Tiger Attack

A tiger broke free from it's cage at the San Fransisco Zoo Christmas evening, and killed a person! Somehow the Tiger got out just before the Zoo's 5pm closing time, and attacked a 23 year old guy eating at the Terrace Cafe, a little cafe just around the corner. This is sad! Below is a picture of the culprit, Tatiana, who was shot dead by the authorities as soon as they arrived on scene. And of course, oh noble zoo-keepers, this is the same Tiger that attacked it's trainer last year. Who smells a lawsuit?

Look how crazy she looks! They are just some crazy cats, i'll tell ya.

I feel like usually people would be all up in arms about not holding these animals in captivity and all that, but this isn't your average Siegfried (I before E? E before I?...I don't feel like Googling at the moment) and Roy tiger attack. This thing escaped from its freaking cage at a zoo. The kind of zoo we've all probably been too at some point in our lives. It's wild how trusting we are of these things, while families are snapping away pictures all day with babies and kids and old people and those huge turkey legs they sell at zoos.

This does get me all up in arms. I hate those Turkey legs. The meat is usually bone-dry and full of tendons, so you feel like you're using Turkey Floss the whole time. Then you've got to deal with being that idiot who bought the Turkey leg. Everybody pointing, laughing, taking pictures. Look how crazy you are, buying the Turkey legs at a zoo.

In closing, don't go to zoo's no' mo'. The last thing we need is a Gorilla attack on five year old.

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